If during a conversation someone says the same thing 3 or more times you’ve received very important information regarding what’s really on their mind. Start listening extra closely if you want to get to the heart of the matter, the root of the issue or gain a deeper understanding of another. 

The phrase could be anything, so it’s difficult to provide the full range of examples here. The point is this: Listen closely to what another says and more importantly to what they repeat.  They may begin repeating a word or phrase verbatim, or switch it up slightly. However, what is repeated is a clear indication of what another is thinking; what is bothering them; what is making them happy or not; why they are satisfied in the relationship or debating it.

I’ve employed this listening strategy for over 25 years in my business and personal conversations. It is the best way to identify an issue, if there is one, so the relationship can progress positively and peacefully.

Of course it’s up to us as the listener to thoughtfully ask, interpret, ask, delve, ask and maybe respond. (Yes, I know I wrote ask three times!)  And for example, if X = the person, place, thing, idea, situation… the questions can be something like :  “X seems to be on your mind, what are you thinking about that?”  or “You mentioned X a few times, how do you feel about that?” or “Is X concerning you for some reason?” 

At every age of life, communication with others is a challenge. We all grew up differently & interpreted situation after situation differently. Relationships grow by attempting to understand the concerns, struggles, likes, loves, interests & fascinations of others. Relationships falter when we assume we know another and fail to understand that every day they are thinking & changing as much as we are — even if it’s not obvious.

Lastly, this same technique can be used with ourselves to figure out what’s really on our minds, if we listen closely to what we’re saying or thinking.

This is Silver Disobedience® philosophy. I’m @DianGriesel aka @SilverDisobedience A Perception Analyst who shares my Daily Meditations for other Ageless, Passionate & Curious People.