Back in my early twenties, I was having a discussion with someone I respected very much. I was complaining about another person (who wasn’t part of this discussion) and frustrated about what I perceived to be their inability to love me the way I hoped to be loved.  

My wise elder friend said: “Do you like monkeys?” To which I responded that “I loved monkeys and that I could watch them for hours at the Central Park Zoo.” He said: “So you love monkeys. Great. If you needed surgery, would you ask a money to do it?” I said “That would be crazy. Why are you asking this?” He said: “Isn’t it interesting that you love monkeys. You are attuned and acknowledge their limitations. Yet, you are hoping that just because you love your friend, you expect them to do and give what likely isn’t within their capabilities to give?” 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reminded myself of this discussion in countless situations in the subsequent 40+ years.  

Next time you think someone is denying you something, flip it and ask yourself: Do they really have it to give?  

Only with this information can you then decide if you can accept the person — AS IS — or make the decision to move on. Yes, we can all be “trained” a bit. But, the nature of monkeys won’t change no matter how they are nutured. They are what they are. People don’t tend to change much either. They are who they are 

I’m @DianGriesel aka a perception analyst & strategist; creative attitude disrupter & adjuster; author of The Silver Disobedience Playbook & TurboCharged: The Silver Disobedience Edition; and the blogger & model known as @SilverDisobedience  More info on my websites (search my name) and at Wilhelmina Models. Silver Disobedience® is a Registered Trademark.