Anger is a scary emotion for many of us — but it need not be IF we learn that there are two kinds of anger.
One kind of anger detonates like dynamite. It’s a self-protective, blaming kind of anger that goes for the jugular of the other person. Sometimes we might even feel justified as we inflict the pain in response to our deemed hurt. This anger aims to maim. It is destructive.
Another kind of anger is constructive. We check our egos while seeking to understand the “why” behind the hurtful action that triggered our anger. This kind of anger acknowledges our hurt and disappointment in a direct, non-condemning way. We might still be very heated, but the goal is not destruction but rebuilding from a new foundation of mutual understanding.
Yes, compassionate, healthy anger might involve the full heat of our emotions. But within those emotions we remember that we love or at least like the person who has made us angry. We challenge their actions. We question their decisions. We demand answers. Yet we do so respectfully because two wrongs will never made things right. And if we do feel anger, it means we are hurting on some level, wanting to understand where things went wrong. It is only with respectful conversation that we can reestablish a healthy connection that somehow went awry.
PS: IF you’ve been following me awhile, you know my essays are self-directed. This post is focused on managing our own anger because we cannot control anger in others — that’s their job.
I’m @DianGriesel aka @SilverDisobedience the author of The Silver Disobedience Playbook ✨ I’m a Perception Analyst who shares my Daily Meditations for other Ageless, Passionate & Curious People. More on google and at Wilhelmina Models! Photography by @creativecontentloft