By this stage of our lives, many of us have married, divorced and married again or opted for singledom. Every year that passes, relationships change whether with spouses, “significant others,” children, friends, coworkers—and ourselves. The Bible and every religious text, regardless of religious persuasion, tells us to “Love one another.” We all know this is not always easy. 

The love part starts with trying to understand one another. Only by working hard to understand another can we actually start to love them or keep on loving them. When we cannot love someone or something, it’s because on some level we simply don’t understand them, their thinking, their actions and motivations. So, they/it become(s) unlovable. Yet the more we try to know or understand someone or something, the more we access the potential for feeling love (or at least acceptance of another or a situation).

All of us do things that are completely incomprehensible to others. Does this make us all unlovable? Let’s hope not. Rather, it just goes to show the human condition is complex, diverse and ever-changing. 

To feel love means we have to constantly try to understand one another. If we understand another, we can forgive them, as we are all hoping they forgive us as well. 

As years go by, if we’ve really put any effort into growing, we’ve tried to understand others—many whom see life and the world far differently than we might. If we only love those similar to us, we’ve made our worlds smaller. 

If this seems to be confusing at all, think about what makes us each feel loved: It gets down to feeling that we’ve been heard and understood. If we’ve kept ourselves youthful by maintaining flexibility toward our stances and opinions of others, we’re likely aging quite well with love continuing to expand the capacity of our hearts—and a big heart capacity is a very healthy thing.

I’m @DianGriesel a perception analyst; creative attitude adjuster; author of The Silver Disobedience Playbook & TurboCharged: The Silver Disobedience Edition; and the blogger & Wilhelmina model known as @SilverDisobedience  More in my bio. Silver Disobedience® is a Registered Trademark.