There were far too many years in my life, when I wasted far too much time, trying to fit in. What specifically I wanted to fit in to? Well…that’s a good question. But the best answer I can likely conclude is this: I wanted to fit into something I was not or maybe even a group that didn’t want me.

These days, while of course I’d rather be liked than not, I’m not so worried about pleasing everyone. Of course I’m nice and civil. Yet, I have no desire to convince the world that my way of thinking is correct and another might be crazy. Instead age has blessed me with a willingness to listen, nod my head, resist raising my eyebrows, speak up only if directly and personally challenged, and otherwise? Say — to myself — not my circus.  I’m comfortable with what I believe is right and wrong — and by living by my convictions.  I’ll question another’s thinking — but only after asking permission or if they’ve directly put me into a position that it’s my only option. I’ve certainly learned not everyone sees life the way I do.

Frankly, it’s a nice place to have arrived. While my brothers and husband sometimes tell me I live in my own private Idaho (I guess they all like @theb52sband as much as I do…) I’m OK with letting go and moving on my journey. I’ve learned to choose my battles more carefully.

While to some it might be passive, and another might even incorrectly decide it’s my version of passive-aggressive, it’s really just my sixties which have helped me arrive at the realization that my time on Earth is certainly at the most way past any half-way mark.  So, I might as well focus on changing what I can … and not getting torqued about everything else…which at best only serves to wind me up, stress me out, age me prematurely and distress me in countless ways.  Yet, when I focus on what I can do?  I’m empowered and feel like I’m fitting into Life perfectly. 

What do you think?

I’m @DianGriesel aka @SilverDisobedience