I’d like to start by saying what I mean by “Silver.” Silver is a cutting edge term for those over fifty; it has a lovely ring to it and conjures up images of someone who is aging gracefully, who may be distinguished, modern, articulate, at times elegant, as well as free, fun and spontaneous. Being silver is an infinitely rich time of life.
I’m a Silver Citizen, first married and divorced, then married again and widowed, in two relationships for forty years! Now I live alone in a cute beach cottage with my dog and cat, work part-time as a therapist in my home office, take dance classes, see friends for brunch, travel and have a family a few hours away. I am in great health, eating well and being active, walking daily in nature and taking belly dancing and yoga! My life is rich and independent and I feel blessed.
I also am thrilled to be with a lover, committed and monogamous, yet not living together or getting married. We are both widowed, own our own houses, keep our money separate, and trade off planning and paying for dates. We travel to exotic locales and sometimes stay for a month. We dance at least once a week, go to films, the opera, walk local beaches, hike forests, share plates of food, love my dog, and sleep in a beautiful gazebo when the weather turns warm.
I never ever thought I would have a lover at my age, thought I would always be married, thought my life would be predictable and organized, a bit staid, yet happy and secure. But I’ve honestly never been happier, never have felt this free to be myself, never have been so creative, writing a new book with my partner, recording a new music CD and painting large canvases. (There’s no time to play small)!
A bit about our book, Silver Sex, Finding Love and Passion after Sixty, finished and soon to be published. We began by writing about meeting online, dating, dancing, about the first kiss and first lovemaking, about having fun and laughing, about meeting family and friends, communicating deeply, resolving conflict, traveling to Crete for a month and other experiences. We ended up with thirty-two vignettes and 176 pages that model for readers how to fully embrace a new relationship in the silver years. I love that we take turns intimately sharing with readers and offering a balanced feminine and masculine perspective. I can’t wait until the book is available to all 76 million Baby Boomers, or at the least, to the 30 million single, divorced and widowed members of our tribe, offering inspiration and hope, encouragement and advice about having a relationship in the Silver years! Our book is not about getting older. It’s about getting bolder and seizing the day!
For now I want to encourage anyone reading this article to embrace being Silver, embrace being in this phase of life, embrace everything important to you; do whatever you’ve always wanted to do, and do it now. Maybe write a list of everything you want to be, do or have in your life, and then take action. There are no guarantees and people pass away every day who are much younger than we are. If there ever were a time to do exactly what you want, THIS IS IT! Do something today to create the life you want, to be the person you want, to feel joyful and free. Be Silver and go for the gold!
This article is contributed by: Dr. Susan Allison
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