Rejection is a part of life for everyone. Sometimes no matter how we try, our efforts are resisted & met with rejection.
Neuroscience proves rejection is physically & mentally painful as the same areas of the brain are activated when we feel rejected. Worse is the tendency to torture ourselves by mentally repeating the circumstances over & over, which floods us with the original feelings.
Rejection is often accompanied by a deep sense of disconnect, anger & possibly aggression. These feelings might be projected towards others—while our self-esteem suffers a knock out punch if we emotionally linger on what we did wrong or worse what is wrong with us.
Rejection is not a confirmation that we lack worthiness, talent, value or love. Rather, painful as it might be, what is happening is a lack of real connection. It’s better to know connection is lacking sooner rather than later —whether with a mate, boss or client—because maintaining the illusion of a fake connection is even more hurtful.
When facing rejection, acknowledge it hurts. Admit you’re feeling sad, embarrassed, discouraged or disappointed. Pretending it was irrelevant denies your emotions & only temporarily buries the hurt.
Be kind to yourself. Beating ourselves up doesn’t help. Reach out to others you trust, who you will allow you to vent.
You are not your rejection. You are not suddenly a loser, worthless, unloveable, incapable or any other negative adjective. Maintain your dignity no matter which way the circumstances are heading. Name calling, begging and pleading are not effective forms of communication and at best they belittle dignity making the situation & sense of rejection worse. A decision has been made—if you cannot change it, acceptance is what is in order.
Rejection is a good teacher. Reflect on what you’ve learned from the experience, however painful. But keep more of your energy focused outside of yourself, preferably spending time being physically active. Socialize with others. Be kind to yourself & better yet, get out and be kind to others. Helping another will remind you that you have love to give, are valuable and are valued & appreciated. Remind yourself of your good points. And know this: The pain will pass.
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