Stay out of other people’s trances.
We all know someone who is stuck somewhere in their past. Maybe it’s even you. Conversation with stuck people tends to go backward into how they grew up, the pain, suffering, cold or abusive parents, lack of love, missed opportunities, broken promises and more. We know it’s all true. And our hearts feel compassion for this suffering. But here’s the problem: They want you to join them in their trance because unconsciously and unintentionally, misery loves company. That person is waiting to hear: “What a horrible life. I have no idea how you survived.”
Don’t do it! Do not accept an invite to that party!
When a conversation gets stuck like this, it’s time to change it up and try to transport the speaker into the present. To be clear, I’m not taking about issues that someone might be coping with requiring immediate attention, love, compassion and solutions—but rather when the person is stuck in a state of trance, recalling old memories and a bad situation over and over.
When I worked in private practice as card-carrying member of the Hypnotists Union, Local 472 (which I still am), I listened to many people who were seeking help to get out of their real live trance. But the time comes to stop listening and trigger change.
People can’t go forward when stuck in a past trance state. They often say they want to change—but first they want to repeat and repeat, getting everyone in full agreement, in their trance, that life is miserable. They often need help from a friend (or a therapist) who can jolt them out of their trance with kindness and humor. This is not undermining another’s pain. Instead, it is reminding everyone to stay present because this is where we can heal and find peace. It’s taking a risk with love.
Whether for a friend or yourself, pay attention to the trances you choose to join.
I’m @DianGriesel aka @SilverDisobedience This is an excerpt from my book: The Silver Disobedience Playbook ✨ I’m a Perception Analyst who shares my Daily Meditations for other Ageless, Passionate & Curious People. Modeling info @Wilhelminamodels —other info in my bio & on my websites. #wilhelminadirect