It’s easy to get stuck. We’re stuck when we’re spending too much time thinking about past hurts, like whether our choices were good or bad, and potential future ones. 

We can also easily slip into professional fiction-writer mode as we invent various scenarios to rationalize how things would be different if we had made different choices along the way. Our egos inflate our worries as we ponder the impact we might or might not have had on someone else or ourselves.  We wonder where we fit into the equations. 

Instead of blaming yourself or anyone else for anything that’s happened—instead of trying to rewrite past history—flip your switch to the present.  

When our thinking goes backward, we have to practice flipping it. 

Ask: How would my partner feel today if I started to do X? Fill in the X with what you think you didn’t do or could have done differently.  

Ask: Would my children respond differently if I started doing X? (Like practicing listening instead of offering suggestions, or trying to solve another’s problems instead of assuring them that they have the skills to find resolutions.) 

Ask: Would my boss or client feel differently about my capabilities if I started to do X to change their perspective regarding my work? 

Once you have the “X” established in your mind, start incorporating it into situations that arise whenever possible. 

The list of scenarios is endless. But by shifting our focus to what we can do versus what we didn’t do, we stay real and hold the potential to change things for the better. 

Mentally flipping our focus to what we can do differently in any situation, sets the stage for progress, peace, satisfaction and growth.  

PS: This is an excerpt from my book: The Silver Disobedience Playbook.

I’m @DianGriesel aka a perception analyst & strategist; creative attitude disrupter & adjuster; author of The Silver Disobedience Playbook & TurboCharged: The Silver Disobedience Edition; and the blogger & model known as @SilverDisobedience  More info on my websites (search my name) and at Wilhelmina Models. Silver Disobedience® is a Registered Trademark.