It’s my total honor to be a contributing writer for Silver Disobedience. I’m a card carrying disobedient. As a child, disobedient wasn’t a word I wanted to wear on my chest, although I wasn’t afraid to question the norm or stomp to a different beat.

As I begin my fifty-eighth year this year, I uplift that little girl, my younger self, for the moments of disobedience that created growth, became a part of a movement, or paved the way to do something that no one else had done before.

I don’t know about you, but I take birthdays seriously, celebrating the entire time that the sun is in Aquarius and for the remaining two weeks of February. So, what’s that? About six weeks? Yeah. Just enough time to get good and birthday full. I’m also one to scream my real age loud and proud from the rooftop bar where I’m likely to be sipping champagne, also aged to perfection. I treat myself very well at birthday time. (Most of the time, actually.) This year, to celebrate that extra candle on my cake, I’m taking a romantic trip to Paris with the most wonderful man and I’m going with my best girlfriend to Oprah’s all day wellness-fest with her special guest, former First Lady, Michelle Obama.

You may have heard about this tour Oprah Winfrey has embarked on—Oprah’s 2020 Vision Tour. She’s making stops across the country with different guests at each stop. Because I planned to attend the one at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, I was naturally curious about the prior shows.

I watched her conversation with Lady Gaga from her first stop, but it was her talk with Tina Fey that inspired this post. Oprah asked Tina in so many words, what lesson it took her the longest to learn. When I head Tina’s reply it stopped me in my tracks and made me want to share it with you.

“The lesson it’s taken me the longest to learn? Hmm. That’s a good one. I think I’m at that age where I’m trying to learn that I don’t have to be so obedient. I’m a very obedient person. A very obedient child growing up. I’m a pleaser. I want to hear that I got an “A,” you know? And I feel like you get to the age that—where you get past that and now I don’t feel the need to please others as much.” –Tina Fey How much are you like Tina? Are you still obedient or have you reached the age where you no longer feel the need to please others? If you are an obedient people pleaser, consider trying this exercise. Ask yourself, “Why?” Really sit with it and listen for answers that may help free you to live the life you truly desire. How does being obedient actually benefit you? There may be a totally positive purpose for your obedience. But something tells me you wouldn’t be on this site if obedience is your superpower.

This article was contributed by Helen R. Little. She is a Media Personality, coach, writer, and speaker who splits her time between NYC and Philadelphia.