It’s easy to get stuck thinking about past hurts & potential future ones like whether our past choices were good ones or bad.  We can all also easily slip into professional fiction-writer mode as we invent various scenarios to rationalize how things would be different if we had made different choices along the way. Our egos inflate our worries as we ponder the impact we may or may not have had on someone or even ourselves.  We wonder where we fit into the equations? 

Instead of blaming yourself or anyone for anything that’s happened, instead of trying to rewrite past history—flip your switch to the present.  

When thinking goes backwards, practice flipping it.  Ask: How would my partner feel today if I started to do X? Fill in the X with what you think you didn’t do or could have done differently.  Ask: Would my children respond differently if I started doing X? (like practiced listening instead of offering suggestions or trying to solve another’s problems but instead assuring them that they have the skills to find resolutions.) Ask:  Would my boss/client feel differently about my capabilities if I started to do X to change their perspective regarding my work? Once you have the “X” established in your mind, start incorporating it into situations that arise whenever possible.

The list of scenarios is endless. But, by shifting our focus to what we can do versus what we didn’t do, we stay real and hold the potential to change things for the better.

Mentally flipping our focus to what we can do differently in any situation, sets the stage for progress, peace, satisfaction and growth.  

@DianGriesel is @SilverDisobedience #graytphilosophy More @WilhelminaModels @ApertureTalent

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