Anger and fire have very similar traits. Both can destroy, leaving burning emotions and embers of relationships, simmering, awaiting the next combustion.
But anger and fire can warm us, too. The very same essence of fire that kills people & is destructive can protect us if it is re-channelled into a stove or coaxed to soar in a fireplace giving us warmth. And, it’s the fire in our hearts that we equate with love. Both anger and fire are powerful energies that are important to our lives
As fire sustains life on a frigid wintery day: Anger is essential as well—as its rising heat can help us realize misunderstandings & frustrations are hitting a melting point that requires our immediate attention.
If we understand anger as a powerful fire that is telling us that there is something demanding our attention which must be cooled & tempered, we’d be less afraid of it when it arises. We’d simply look for a safe way to manage it—perhaps we might be less explosive & more likely to channel it towards warming our hearts & those whom we love.
Anger scares us: Both when we feel it rising & when we sense it in another. Feeling anger is ok. We can have angry feelings, own them & express them. Anger isn’t a moral issue & we don’t become more righteous by never feeling anger either. We are all allowed to feel angry. The goal is to figure out the best ways to feel anger & then express it in ways that don’t make us feel guilty. Because, when we know we could have managed our tides of emotions better, the aftermath never feels good.
Anger is like the tax man. It gets its due. We need to pay it due respect because the anger we bottle up today, only becomes like that building fire, awaiting just a bit more oxygen to combust.
Reading this blog won’t make any of us people who don’t get angry. I get angry. You get angry. We all get angry. The goal is to listen to what our anger is telling us. If we can be grateful that our anger is really a messenger, telling us something needs to be addressed, changed, discussed— anger is less frightening & explosions become less likely. Then, we can start to respect the fire of anger & channel it to create warmth within ourselves and our relationships with others instead of destruction.
What are your favorite ways to positively channel anger? Please share them.
@DianGriesel is @SilverDisobedience