Throughout life we’ve all been told “Don’t do that,” by a variety of well-meaning others who shared & continue to share these “Don’t do it” opinions for a variety of reasons: An effort to keep us safe; control our behaviors; to manage our energy when theirs was lacking due to life demands; and also as an attempt to get us to do what they wanted…or were afraid of wanting. We have been the recipient of plenty of “don’ts.” And, if we’re being totally honest, at this stage of life, we’ve likely shared well-intended, but not necessarily always well-considered, “don’ts” with many others, including our children.
The result of a lifetime of “don’ts” is that deep down we all question who we are, our abilities, our strengths & even our general likability or worthiness. We may even believe that if we “Do,” instead of “Don’t” that others might think we’re being selfish.
Trusting ourselves to do what we want to do is not bad. Who we are & what we want is not wrong or greedy or any other negative, judgmental adjective. It is who we are & what we want, period. If you believe otherwise, it’s time to get out of this trap, because that’s all it is: A trap that keeps our identity stuck in believing that we need to be like others & to be liked by others, we need to do what they want.
Today is a good day to begin releasing ourselves from don’t-do-it conditioning in any area of our lives where it might still be lingering. Here’s why: 1) Holding on to conditioned don’ts, without really considering their impact on our lives today, is a weak attempt to shift responsibility of living our lives from ourselves to blaming it on other outside forces. 2) It denies the fact that as a one-of-a-kind being our self-ish-self can know what we need and want to live a fulfilled life which is our responsibility to humanity.
Next time you hear yourself or another saying “Don’t”…Ask why?
It might be very good important information like: No, you don’t want to jump off a bridge! But it might be old conditioning or out-dated information about fears — our own or others- that are worthy of examination.
Only you can decide why you’re holding onto “Don’t do its.” It’s your life to decide what you want and need to do and what you think is right for you.
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