Throughout life, it’s normal to reflect on past situations and interactions. This is partly how we change & improve ourselves.

As we age & reflect on our lives and choices, there can be a tendency to think too much about what we did in a negative sense, or what we didn’t do, could have done, wanted to do, would have done if we could have done it differently, and wished we tried. We may be doing this to ourselves and also still to others.

There are really only two reasons we ever want to look back in life: 1) If we are reflecting on a wonderful memory that puts a smile on our face in the present while warming our hearts, or 2) If we want to offer a sincere apology in the immediate future to someone we feel we wronged. Otherwise, no looking back.

Looking back in any way that falls into that “if only” category is abusive to ourselves, and maybe another. Our choices and mistakes didn’t make us failures, but they sure can make us feel like that if we don’t let decide to them go. When we find ourselves looking back, stumbling and struggling (which of course would happen because we’re supposed to be looking forward towards where we’re going!) a far more productive approach is to talk to ourselves like we would encourage another. We can do this by shifting our focus and spending a few moments recalling and cheering those times we did things right. The moments we lifted another by saying the right words at the right time; offered our help; shared our compassion & understanding. Consciously directing this kindness towards ourselves can work miracles. It can heal us on countless levels. It might take practice getting used to the idea of only looking back on our lives with compassion or to reflect on wonderful moments, but it’s a very important thing to start practicing this now for enhancing our health & longevity. Feel free to share your new kind self-talk out-loud here.

@DianGriesel is @SilverDisobedience a #Model @WilhelminaModels @ApertureTalent Her #influence is with the #SilverHair #50plusandfabulous  #generationstrong Dian’s been a #communications #strategist  to 1000+ people during the past 25+ years. Her #bloggerslife is focused on #life #age #aging #philosophy #Silver Disobedience hosts #relevant #discussions for those #overfifty  #over50 the #elderly (according to #society ) #seniors to some; just plain #over50yearsold #fiftyplus & anyone who wants to join this party! #photographyoftheday by @richkissi  My cool #whiteshirt is a birthday present from my friend, designer Althea Simons #GRAMMAR @grammarnyc